As probably my favourite AFL season in the last decade, maybe longer, is drawing to what will be a fantastic conclusion, I feel now is the time to discuss my hatred of all things off the field.


AFL is a big part of my life. Even while being overseas for the entireity of this season I have watched games, read the online media, watched AFL 360, etc. While removing myself from the hysteria of Melbourne around footy season, not much has changed. I have been waking up at 6am most weekend mornings and watching games bleary eyed and highly pixelated.

This season, has been probably the best of my life. There has been a distinct evenness to it, that most other seasons seem to lack. The fact that legitimate arguments can be made that eight teams can win the premiership this late in the season is a testament to that. However, just because the quality of the competition has been superb, ratings are high, a new $2.5 billion deal has been signed, it doesn’t mean that the AFL is doing it’s job properly.

Almost all of these problems I have with the game and those working for the AFL are easily fixable. It seems like it is just common sense. We all saw this season how easy it was to have the Docklands roof shut during day games. So onto the problems….

1. SYDNEY’S TRADE BAN – Why is this even a thing? How can they just ban a club from competing against other clubs? Because they signed Tippett and Buddy in consecutive years? Good on them. Don’t punish them for attempting and succeeding to get the best players to their club.

2. RULE CHANGES: 2a) Holding the Ball: I think there is too much confusion around holding the ball. I no longer know if it is about prior opportunity, a great tackle, attempting to get the ball out, or dropping the ball. All of these interpretations work against each other which doesn’t help matters. However, I believe that this rule being relaxed slowly this year has improved and next year it can be even more consistently applied. This rule is very nuanced, but I think that the whole “you didn’t make an attempt” reason should be stopped altogether. If the player had prior opportunity, ping him. If he didn’t, ball up. Don’t attempt to judge a players intentions. Also, commentators need to be taught this rule better than anyone, because they are an important vessel to get the correct interpretation to the fans.

2b) High Contact: Ducking and creating contact should be considered as prior opportunity. I also think that raising your arm to create the contact should also be treated as prior opportunity.

2c) Acting: I think the game needs to get really strict with this, as almost each game a player will take a dive. If it seems like it give a warning. If it seems like it again from the same player give them a fine. A third time, and they get a week suspension. Any sort of deception should be punished this way. And as much as it pains me to say, as a North Melbourne supporter, Brent Harvey, should have been given this sort of warning when he threw the ball away from himself and blamed Priddis. This rule will get nowhere if people are too afraid to name and shame a player.

2d) Stopping a Player’s Run: This rule was around for a little while. I swear I remember it. A player would handball and run to receive it back, but get bumped by the opposition player and it would result in a 50m penalty. I liked that rule, it seems to have stopped being paid this year for some reason though. It is time for it to be brought back.

2e) Sub Rule: Remove this rule please, it is only taking away from the game. I don’t know why there was such a big fuss about the amount of rotations anyway? Why is it so insulting for players to be coming on and off the ground?

2f) Goal Review: Until this technology is ready, which it clearly isn’t, shelve this thing. It only adds to a goal umpires uncertainty, and too many times it is impossible to definitively tell what has occurred. Once channel 7, or the AFL or whoever is willing to pay for the quality cameras and technology that can confirm with certainty whether it is a goal or not, then bring it right in. Until then however, scrap it.

3. UMPIRING CHANGES: 3a) Make the umpires professional. I am a fan of the centre bounce, but it is embarrassing how many get it wrong and how often. Sometimes, when the bounce is horrible, they won’t bring it back, which is even worse. If you want to keep the centre bounce, make sure you have umpires who can do it correctly. This process begins with professional umpires who hone their craft as their job.

3b) It is no longer the field umpires job to report players. Let the Match Review Panel do all of that.

That is the first installment of this series. I will be back in a few days with another list of problems and their solutions. Fixturing, the Draft, MRP and the AFL in general will all be gripes and whinges you can all look forward to reading.